edX Free Online Course – Engaging India

Hi everyone! Not long ago I was introduced to edX, a non-profit online initiative that offers interactive online classes from the world's best universities FOR FREE. Today I discovered they're offering a a 10-week course in both English and Hindi called "Engaging India" and I wanted to share the opportunity with you. Check out the video below for more information. Click here to read more and sign up. Sounds awesome!

Sharell of White Indian Housewife’s Decision to Take Time Away From Blog

While I don't browse Indian blogs too often these days, from time to time I do find myself still checking in on Sharell's blog, Diary of a White Indian Housewife. It was Sharell's blog that inspired me to start My Indian Love back in 2009, as I'm sure is the case for many other Indian bloggers out there. As far as I know, she was the first, and still is the best resource on all things Indian from a "westerner's" perspective.

So I was shocked to check in today and see her latest post, To Blog or Not to Blog. By the sounds of it, and by the fact the post is dated almost a month ago, I assume she's chosen the latter. Her reasons echo my own decision to ultimately take a step back from My Indian Love:

In short, the reason why I haven’t updated my blog is because I’m not inspired to. My blog was becoming burdensome, demanding, and intrusive. While I’ve been fortunate to have interacted with some wonderful people here (some of whom have become my good friends in real life) and learned a lot, I grew tired of publicly sharing so much of my life and my thoughts, answering questions, and dealing with Internet trolls. What’s more, I grew tired of being defined as a “blogger”, “expat”, or someone in a “cross-cultural relationship”. More and more, I felt like my life wasn’t my own anymore. It was wearing me down.

Reading her post reminded me of the many days and nights I spent in emotional turmoil over nasty comments from Internet trolls and yes, the burdensome demand of keeping up with it all - moderating, deleting, responding. I clearly remember MIM soothing me during the times I was an emotional wreck - which only began happening more frequently as the blog grew in popularity. I even started to question if the blog was having a negative effect on our relationship. But during these times I also had so many supporters, encourages, and uplifters that helped get me through.

Sharell ends her post by writing:

Quite simply, I feel freer, less stressed, and more relaxed now that I’m having time away from my blog.

I can only nod in recognition. While I immensely enjoyed My Indian Love, I was also relieved to walk away from it, now blogging only ever so often when the feeling moves me. (And of course, by no longer having an Indian Love there's not much left to discuss...) But I'm happy to keep it active for those who may stumble upon it and find what their looking for.

I commend Sharell for taking control of her life and emotions and walking away when she felt she needed to. But I do hope she continues to blog and keep WIH active in the long run, as it is such a great resource to many and I myself enjoy keeping up on her life in India.

Osho on Westerners Attraction to Indians

It's ironic that I just mentioned my reading of the Indian guru Osho as of late, and just yesterday during my reading I came across an answer he gave to a woman concerned about her attraction to Indian men. Thought I would share:

[She answers: You spoke the other day about the indian mind and I thought I am also false and indirect and that is why I am attracted to Indians.]

That is not the point. Your attraction for an Indian is for a different reason. You would like to have a stable relationship, and that is more possible with an Indian than with a Westerner. You would like to have a more loving and an intimate and caring relationship, and that is more possible with an Indian. Your attraction towards an Indian is not bad at all.

I understand the problem. You have been brought up in the West and you feel attracted towards Indians, but your own western ways will create trouble. If you find a Westerner, your western ways may not create trouble, but your inner desire which is seeking an Indian will not be fulfilled. So you have to think about it.

With an Indian you can settle and things will grow very deep. Indians have believed for centuries that love is only for once. It is not a casual thing, changing every day. It is not like a fashion – somebody comes along with a better face, a fairer colour, and everyone changes. They believe that love should be a very permanent thing, and it is very meaningful. If it can become permanent it is very beautiful.

Your desire is not wrong; it is absolutely in the right direction, but your western upbringing is a problem. No indian woman will hit her lover; impossible. But you hit! That comes very easy to the Westerner. You have to drop that, otherwise an Indian will simply feel puzzled at what is happening; what type of love this is.

So just try for a few more days, mm? And then I will see. Don’t be worried.

Update on MIM and I

Recently a reader, Angie, reached out asking for an update on MIM and I. I responded to her in the comments section but I thought to post it as a new blog post as well for others who may be interested in reading it.

I know there are many of you who visit My Indian Love who are struggling in intercultural relationships and while I would love the opportunity to reach out to every one of you personally, I just can't, and also, I don't believe I have the answers to give. You must look inside yourself for those. My only advice would be to relax and take it easy, go with the flow, as things have their own way of working out for the best as I believe it did for MIM and I.

Also, I recently came across the spiritual guru Osho, and I highly recommend reading/listening to him if you're seeking advice and guidance on life and love. I make a point to read passages from him each day. They are free to read here.

Thanks everyone for continuing to stop by and sharing your experiences on My Indian Love.

-MDG

Hi MDG,

I've been somewhat of a ghost reader here, I've started reading about 2 years ago and was kind of dissapointed that you and MIM didn't end up together.  Do you two still keep in touch even though he's married?

What are you both up to now?

Anyways, all the best with whatever is going on in both of your lives!

Angie.

Hi Angie,

Thanks for writing, and I appreciate you following the blog for so long and inquiring about MIM and I. :) Your comment came at a serendipitous time, as I just reached out to MIM yesterday to congratulate him on his recent marriage. We haven’t communicated for months now, mostly because we were preoccupied with other things. I for one was traveling the country and he was most likely preparing for the upcoming wedding and new living arrangements with his new wife. So yes, we do keep in touch here and there, but with him now being married I’m sure it will grow less and less. He did tell me he checks in on me from time to time on my other blog (a travel and photography blog), so it seems we both value a distant friendship between the two of us which I have a feeling will last a lifetime.

MIM is working a steady job and settling into married life and I am still all over the place as I have acquired an addiction to travel and new experiences. I continue to sing on cruise ships here and there, and in between I travel and live all over.

I think often on the many wonderful and loving moments we shared together and how much I was able to learn about Indian life and culture, but I never have doubts about our split. Especially after seeing his wedding photos, I know he belongs with a woman of his beliefs and culture, and I still belong free to roam. The split was best for us both, and the only thing I wish to take back is the pain and heartbreak I put him through by leaving. Still, heartbreak is something we all must face at one time or another and I’ve had my share as well. What’s so wonderful to see is how happy he is now, and where life has taken him, and knowing we did the right thing.

Anyways, I wouldn’t change a thing! Thanks for reaching out and asking about us, I’ve enjoyed writing about it, and probably it was time for an update. I still get emotional when I write and think about us, but it’s an emotion of appreciation, not regret. I’m so thankful MIM came into my life, even for a short time.

MDG

Indian Flash Mob Wedding Proposal

Recently a fellow by the name of Arsh Singh shared this video with me. He surprised his future wife with a "flash mob" proposal inside a mall. The video brought tears to my eyes just thinking how dedicated and passionate Arsh must be to go to such lengths for his lady love!

As I was watching the video I noticed how many more "flash mob" proposals there were on the side bar. I guess this is a trend I didn't know about! I have only ever seen one other like this a year back or so - and that was darling. Well without further adieu, here is Arsh's flash mob wedding proposal!

Ooo! And I just found the first one I ever saw:

We’re Back

My Indian Love was recently hacked. Grrrr....

For a moment I thought it was gone forever. What angered and saddened me the most about this is that the little income MIL's earns from ads and the store supports a beautiful little girl from India through the organization Children International. Whether the attack was personal or completely random I will never know, but I could literally strangle the perpetrator for messing with an innocent girl's livelihood!

Getting the site up and running again took a lot of help from my wonderful father and our hosting company. I'm am so thankful for them both. MIL has been running since 2009 and it has developed over the years from a personal relationship blog into a blog for the people - all of you. You and your comments and your passion for all things Indian are what keep this blog going strong. I'm very proud of it and I hope it continues for years to come.

During the recovery process I disabled the forums because they simply weren't very active. Please join the new facebook page for an easy way to connect and communicate.

*ALSO* Please, please: if all you have to contribute to this site are mean, hateful, small-minded, and bigoted comments, go somewhere else or better yet, keep them to yourself. I want MIL to be a safe and friendly place to share stories and advice and provide community. I cannot always monitor each and every comment but it should be stated that such comments are not welcomed or condoned on this site.

Lastly, thank you everyone who keeps MIL going strong! I hope you're just as happy as I am to see it back!