Hi! I'm MDG.
I am an American woman in love with an Indian man. I moved to Bangalore, India July 25th, 2010, and am happy to be sharing my experiences with you!
Please don't hesitate to comment or contact me directly. I love both! 
How I Met My Indian Man
When I first met My Indian Man, I was aware we would have many differences. We have different religions, different eating habits, (I was vegetarian, he was strictly halal). We have different skin colors, speak different languages, come from different countries, and have different cultural upbringings. All these differences gave us a lot to talk about-but also surely made us wonder if there were just too many differences to begin a relationship out of.
How We Met
The events that led to our meeting I’d like to believe were set in place many years earlier. They started from my childlike curiosity towards people different from myself. Growing up I only knew two types of people: black and white. When I was young and enrolled in summer school, I made friends for the first time with a black girl and was thrilled to know someone outside my all white associations. I remember feeling so special when I asked my parents if I was allowed to purchase a black Barbie doll. (It has since been carried away and forever lost in the backyard ditch we used to swim in when heavy rains would fall). :-/
When the internet came along and I could begin to understand the possibilities of it all, I became eager to meet people from all over the world. I ended up having pen pals in Australia, China, Japan, and all over the U.S. Over the span of a few years we shared letters, pictures, and gifts. As I got older the pen pals fizzled away and were replaced with other important things-like getting myself through high school unscathed.
So it wasn’t too much of a surprise when in college I fell upon My Indian Man’s online networking profile and became intrigued. An Indian? In my hometown? Going to the same university I am? I suddenly had this urge to write him and introduce myself, and ask him how he liked the U.S. After all this time, it seemed I wanted another pen pal.
Our Writing Days
I wasn’t sure how My Indian Man would react to a random request for conversation from a stranger. I waited three days before I got a response. It was short and simple, but at the very end he returned the gesture by asking something about me. I was so excited he didn’t just say “bug off”! (Of course who really even uses that phrase anymore)? The point is by responding and asking something about me, he enabled the conversation to continue. The online relationship ended up lasting for many weeks and the letters continued to get longer, and longer, and longer until we finally suggested meeting in person.
Our First Meeting
Our very first meeting began as a trip to an Indian restaurant. It was fascinating to listen to My Indian Man speak to the waiters in their Hindi/Urdu language. It was the very first time I heard his native tongue and I found myself loving every new word and sound. He ordered for the both of us, and I felt extremely silly when I realized I picked a south Indian restaurant (all vegetarian) when My Indian Man loves meat and is from the north! It was the first time I learned there was a difference in cuisine between the two. But to my defense, I had only ever been to one Indian restaurant before this time and I had never personally known an Indian person before meeting My Indian Man.
I was highly over dressed for the experience. The restaurant was located off some back road in a gravel parking lot. The only other customers were Indians. (A sure sign the restaurant must be authentic, or perhaps the only one in town). It was a very small and simply furnished place with bright lighting, and there I was, all dolled up for a romantic experience.
After the restaurant we drove into the nearby city to ride the incline. We seemed to be the only ones out and about on this cold, wintry night and proved to be the only brave souls to ride the incline too. I wanted to curl up into him for warmth, but I imagined this being a big no-no in his culture. I didn’t want to offend him and he wasn’t making any kind of contact at his end, so I kept my distance all night long. Up to this point we still hadn’t conversed in romantic terms through our letters. For all I knew this was simply a night out with a good friend for him. Let’s just say I was greatly confused.
Later That Night…
Afterwards, we spent hours at a hookah bar. I believe we had a sour apple hookah and cinnamon tea. This was the very first time I smoked a hookah. I had a million questions to ask him and our conversations went on the entire night. He spoke with such openness and honesty. He had no other agenda but to get to know me and let me get to know him. I was completely fascinated by him. Not just because he was so different, yes, that in itself was exciting, but because I had never met a man who shared the similar thoughts and moral values as I did.
Let me explain: all my dating years prior to this were always the same old thing; some confused American white boy who only knew how to follow the crowd. Never having any idea who they were, what they wanted, or how they should treat a woman. The ones that I mistakenly allowed to become serious turned out to be compulsive liars, cheaters, and alcoholics who beat my self esteem down to a slimy pulp. I swear I didn’t pick ‘em this way. I guess they were just my lessons to learn.
So you could imagine what I must have felt to finally meet someone who believed in family values, education, and treating others with respect. Someone who never had a sip of alcohol in his life, didn’t like smoke, didn’t hang out in bars, and ahem, was never involved in a relationship. Yeah that’s right-I’m one of the lucky few who never have to worry about finding old girlfriend pictures or being stalked by the ex. I will never have to be that girl-you know-the one who wants to make sure she is better than her boyfriend’s ex in every way. Go on and hate me all you want. 
Ending The Night
I was surprised when My Indian Man invited me up to his place which he shared with three other Indian guys. I was still unsure as to what was culturally accepted. I went up, and he brought me into his room. He left the room for a moment, and I was able to glance around. I had never seen such an organized and clean room before. I mean, every shirt folded perfectly, every watch lined up in a row as were his colognes and shoes. An Indian flag was tacked to the wall. At the desk where I sat were a few pieces of paper that looked like school work. I picked one up and admired the perfect handwriting and the complicated mathematical equations and smiled. What woman doesn’t want a man who is neat AND smart? He was just too cute!
When he came back into the room he opened up his laptop and we spent some time looking at all his pictures from India. He showed me his parents, his brother, his bhabhi, his niece, his home, and his college friends. Usually moving too fast means going to bed together. Well we skipped right over that part and headed straight for the family introductions! It was at this moment I realized he cared for me the way I was beginning to care from him.
The Goodnight Hug
It was the end of the night and I STILL didn’t know when it was proper in his culture for a guy and girl to hug or touch in any way. So when he walked me to the door to end the evening, I asked, “Is it ok if I hug you?” He simply said “yes”. It was short and sweet, but what I was looking forward to the entire night.
<3
And that, my friends, is how we began. Almost two years later and we’ve still got it! Sometimes when others ask how we met, My Indian Man likes to tease me by saying it was through my online stalking habits. But I, the hopeless romantic, like to think of it as fate.
That is such a sweet story! It sounds like you’ve got a wonderful guy who has all the positive traits of Indian culture.
How sweet!
Its so refreshing to hear about young people are focused and serious about life, have a firm ethical foundation with clearly defined values, and want to have old fashioned friendship and romance before sex. Or want to save the sex for marriage. I tell you, the American dating scene has really devolved into something initimidating and disgusting. I’m meeting both men and women who are increasingly becoming jaded by it and wish for a return to the good ol’ days of taking it slow and steady.
Thank you two for your comments! You both are the first to bless this website! I was so excited to see my very first comments.
@Sharell, Thank you! It really doesn’t matter what culture or country you come from, because there are bad men everywhere. So I feel very lucky to have found a great guy with the morals he has.
@PG, I agree with you 100%. Things have become a mess. And until I met My Indian Man, I didn’t realize there was an alternative to the screwed up American dating scene! We need a complete overhaul. We need families to become involved again. Most times I don’t think arranged marriages are all that bad, if they are agreed to, because the entire families becomes involved in that person’s life and happiness.
There is such stability to Indian relationships and marriages that we just don’t get in the west. I’m all for arranged marriages too, if they’re done in the right way. They really do offer a great deal of support, which is so lacking elsewhere.
Hmmm – I’ve never had any problems with the American dating scene, but I’m glad I’m not in it any more. Anyways, I agree with Sharell that this was a really sweet post. Bit bemused that smoking hookah apparently doesn’t preclude someone from “didn’t like smoke”.
Haha yes, it goes for the both of us. I can’t deal with cigarette smoke, but I could be in a room of hookahs any day. Since smoking hookah is more of a gathering, we both enjoy taking part in it. And taking silly pictures with the smoke. hah!
That’s a very nice story…..like a sweet romantic Bollywood movie.
I wish u both all the happiness in ur married life.
Very nice n romantic. Now that I read it, I realized, there were one too many girls who were interested in me but i never realized it
I hope i can meet some1 soon 
N S I wouldn’t let race/ethnicity be something to hold you back, if you are interested in a woman talk to her!
your story is so sweet. made me cry. im mexican american and i just met an indian guy also. our first date was indian food also. he also showed me pics of his fam. he is very sweet. we met by where we both use to work and we live by each other. fate does happen. i think that god makes us all different so we can all take time and know each other. well i found someone that im not gonna let go of. love your website!
Thanks Jubee! wont let the sloth get to me this time! Now when I know it, will go for it! Thanks 1ce again!
What a lovely story. I am actually dating a guy that is Indian. It is definitely confusing at times with him. I am always unsure of what to do or say. He is just so worth all the confusion though.
We met online also. I actually met him on a dating site. He had shown up as one of my top matches. Which is odd since he lives 6 hours away. I don’t think I would have ever found him if the website hadn’t thrown him in my top matches. I always just do a search for guys in the general area. He said we should write a thank you note to the website. lol He is just too cute. I am a tad bit worried about his family but he has assured me that it wouldn’t be an issue. I am sure he knows best. Love your website. Thanks for sharing. Gives me hope! 
Hi Amy! I’m glad you like the site.
How are you and your Indian Man handling the long distance? MIM always assured me he would handle his family too, and so far he has been 100% right. Best wishes and keep in touch!
Hey MDG.. Thanks for responding.. So far.. The distance hasn’t been an issue. We text all day and talk on the phone every night. We also do webcam chats and play video games together. Really is like he is here with me. We do plan on moving closer together in the future. I am actually taking a trip up to see him next week. So excited!
Thanks again. Nice to talk to someone who knows what I am going through. Best wishes to you and your Indian man also! 
OMG it was so amazing to read. Now im dating with a Indian guy.. and i have a lot questions… hahah It´s like i dont have any idea of india culture, how they think about women, family, love sex….
@Amy – ah! have a great time next week! how exciting! MIM and I had a long distance relationship for 7 months, and then 3 months directly following. So, all together we dated long distance for 10 months. It’s hard, but doable if you both remain strong!
@Pili – Getting to know all about Indian culture is half the fun! I asked MIM a million questions when we first started dating and still to this day we both learn something new about each other all the time. You’re both in for an exciting new adventure!
Very sweet:)
I am an Armenian girl and I am also in love with an Indian man.
We met in Armenia.He is working in Armenia.
It has been 11 months since we know each other, He is just wonderful:)
P.S.
This site is amazing.Thank you very much.
Welcome Anna and thank you for sharing your story. Why, these Indians sure get around now don’t they?
All the way from Armenia! I think the general census is that Indian men are quite great. I’m glad we all are the lucky ones that caught on to this! lol! Best wishes to you and your Indian love!
It is lovely to know that there are happy endings. I spent two years with an amazing Indian man only to end with a broken heart. He simply couldn’t bare to tell his parents about us and he would hid our relationship in public. He was here in the US, Edwardsville, Illinois and his parents lived in Southern India. His friends knew of us, however, his relatives in the states didn’t. He was too afraid they would see and tell his parents. He proposed and we lived together… as time went on… I started becoming depressed that he hid me and insisted he speak out. We split up and he moved back to his home town with his parents, Madras, India. I miss him dearly and loved him very much. It has been over two years now…. and we still chat through e-mail occasionally. He claims he hasn’t been with anyone since me and he is still not over me.. however… he simply can’t hurt his parents or grandmother. He told me he will always love me and no one can replace me. I moved on and am fine…just miss him so much from time to time…. I am also older than him (8 years) and I have two children which complicated the situation more — however, I am educated with a good job. He also is educated with a very good job. He was wonderful with my children and he loved them dearly…they felt the same way about him…. I am glad to know that there are Indian men out there that will work through challenges for the women they love.
This is such a cute story. I wish you good luck!
Hi Windi,
I was quite shocked to read he went as far as proposing to you but still wouldn’t/couldn’t tell his family. Why did he make such a serious move if he wasn’t ready? From what I have read and heard, you being 8 years older and having children from a previous relationship might have been the major factor in his decision to end the relationship and move back home. I’m sure it would have been very hard to convince his family to accept the situation – but it’s not a good excuse. I’m sure he misses you just as much as you him. Thanks for sharing you story and I’m sorry it wasn’t a happy ending. I am interested in hearing more perspectives on this from Indian males.
I have never been able to discuss my experience with anyone – and when I feel sad about my situation… I jump on-line and read many stories to remind myself, I am not alone. I understand the struggles and his culture, even though it is painful. He loves his family, and grandmother dearly and they come first. His only brother made it clear he was never moving back to India and so my love truly felt it was his responsibility. He always believed his family would accept us and love me once they met me. I am very different and volunteer with many organizations that most people wouldn’t dream of doing. However, when I placed the pressure on him… I pushed him away. I am sure if I believed in “us” and him… we may be together today — but I was afraid I would spend more time with a man who hid me, and wasn’t open about our love. Emotionally, it was demanding and wore me down. He still has feelings for me and has refused to allow his parents to arrange any marriage for him at this time. However, it will actually be 3 years this summer and I am sure he is letting go and moving on. I can tell through his e-mails that emotionally he is fading from the attachment he once had for me. He was very mature for his age.. more mature than me in many ways… He is 28 years old, 29 in July. He never believed in arranged marriages, but I am sure he will marry eventually and carry out his family traditions. Thanks for responding… I never posted anything before — nor have I shared with anyone because it is just too hard for people non-involved to understand.
Windi, Have you ever imagined going to India and sweeping him off his feet? It seems he is the one you wished never got away. You said yourself he believed his family would have loved you if they had the opportunity to meet you in person. Well…?
Hello MDG,
so happy that I found ur website and I am enjoying reading your story!
I try to visit him one time in a month now and we spend wonderful days there. I love him sooooo much and also I hope for a happy end. I will go on reading here and wish you a great time with your love. Thank you so much for sharing your story by this website!!!
I am from Germany and met my indian boyfriend online at 2008. We wanted to improve our English and met on a learning website. Well, time passed and we spent so many time by chatting, writing mails, calling…a great friendship developed. Last year he started to study in Scotland and so we decided to meet each other. In January we met for first time and since that my life changed into feeling like flying in the sky.
Welcome ST! Thank you for sharing your lovely story and I’m glad you like my site. I wish you and your Indian love the best! What an exciting time for the both of you!
I wish Il be lucky like you, Im inlove and Im sure but hes slipping slowly bec im far, culture , family’s reaction… I dont know what to do.
This is such a cute story. I wish you good luck from Mendoza Argentina!
i read tis n start 2 cry… i have my indian lover also… he like fish alot.. 4 eat
…i wish im as lucky as u dear.. he is rank 495 all over india when he on univercity test… he must be v v smart guy…but i nvr meet him……..different of anything also… n his papa nt like me 
hahahaaa…… huftt wish me luck also…i need ur praying also… ilove u all…
Wonderful!
Hi MDG,
Great blog. Trust me; you have a career in it
.
BTW, I’m an Indian guy. I love my traditions way too much, and constantly live in fear, that I may end up with a girl who might drive me away from whatever of it I manage to live up to. I believe most Indian guys share the same fear, when engaging with a girl (even Indian girls – customs and life style changes with ever km you travel from south to north).
But once you are accepted in the family, it’s a smooth ride from there. For a guy (at least for most of them), his parents are integral part of the family and if he is the only son, it goes without saying that they will live together.
I have stayed away from home (parents) for over 10 years now. But I know when I get settled, and feel my parents are getting too old to carry on by themselves, I’ll take every measure to make them move with me (somehow they have acknowledged this western concept, apologies, of letting their children live independently. And my major concern would be, my spouse to be okayed (happy) with this decision.
Wishing you all the luck in the world you need, but from your blog I can make out that it is going to be a smooth ride for you (once you get used to Indian traffic).
Have a great life.
is that all right 2 have a marriage life wid u indian guys??? fear n fear…..cos i thought indonesia is realy heavenly place…. but i realy wanna see india…maybe i have the blood of my ancistors
, teri yaad jab aati hai 
Hi and welcome RJ. Career = making money, right? I would say then the blog is more like a hobby then a career. Although if you know how I can make 45,000 a year doing it, please let me know!
MIM has never mentioned being afraid to lose a part of his culture or traditions. It is usually I who ask, “Don’t you wish you had a girlfriend you could speak your own language with?” and, “Don’t you wish you had a girl who could cook a real good Indian meal for you?” He reacts as if he’s never thought of such a thing. Then he reverses the questions to me, “Don’t I wish I had an American guy for this or that, etc?” and it hits me after that: I don’t miss American guys the same way MIM doesn’t seem to miss Indian women.
MIM believes his parents wouldn’t want to settle in America. They are at the age where they would feel most comfortable in India. MIM has an older brother who lives in Abu Dhabi, and perhaps they will convince their parents to live there, where they may feel more comfortable with their son and his Indian wife, but they haven’t crossed that path yet.
Hi MDG,
So many questions coming up in my mind, like, what about children, whether they would be Muslims or not? How marriage ceremony will be held islamic way or unislamic? Would you wear veil after marriage? Where would you live after marriage, India or US? Would you follow Islamic principles after marriage??
This is a very rare story I have ever seen. This is strange a Muslim marrying non Muslim foreigner. No offense
Ohhhhhh, this is very confusing but I wish I could meet your fiancé/husband. I am a Muslim too, from Pakistan, living and working in Dubai but haven’t thought in this way. I am planning home vacations in next few days and I am sure my family will soon arrange for my engagement function
Hi Supreme Hacker!
). To answer your last question about whether I would follow Islamic principles, it depends but, I will probably stay just the way I am. I already do not eat pork, drink very rarely, and well, you’d have to educate me about all the other principles! I will not become a Muslim by marrying a Muslim – if that makes sense at all, but MIM is always free to do what he likes.
I appreciate you asking honest questions and I would love to answer them. I think MIM and I work so well because we’re both very easy going. I am really up for anything. I would most likely have an Islamic ceremony in India and our children will be raised knowing both Islam and Christianity. I would not wear a veil after marriage because some Muslims choose not to wear the veil and MIM’s family is one of them. Although, I think the veil can be very attractive! And, after visiting Dubai, I have a new appreciation for the burka. I’ve been wanting to write a post about it soon. After marriage, we would more than likely live in the US, since MIM is happy there and it is my home. (and after being in India, I appreciate US much more
I have a few friends from Pakistan that are very dear to me. How do you like living in Dubai? Congrats on becoming engaged soon!
Good to hear that you have Pakistani friends too, why you didn’t fell for Pakistanis? Am so Jealous
LOL.
Its great to live here in Dubai, though very modest and way expensive. Besides work, I do swim at our appartment pool, play table tennis, snooker and sometimes hit a gym. Thanks for congratulating, though I don’t even know whom I am going to marry
@Supreme Hacker its not as uncommon as you would think, I am also a Christian dating a Pakistani Muslim. I think part of it has to do with being in America, you are constantly exposed to different people from different cultures, so its easy for people to start to blend, they say by the year 2050 40% of children born in US will be bi-racial.
That’s a very nice story
Do you plan to marry this guy. You say you are up for anything but your MIM is religious person based on you comments like observing Ramadan sincerely. Will your MIM marry you even if you do not convert into Islam since you want Islamic ceremony. Reality is I am yet to see a single Muslim man marrying non Muslim who have not converted into Islam both in India and elsewhere. Converting into Islam is prerequisite for a Muslims before Nikkah (wedding.
i had given up on finding a descent indian guy bt ur story js gave me hope.i am black and i love all things indian…i hope that i do meet my dream man one day
Cossy
In general Indians are biased towards white women (i.e racist).
You can try http://www.indianmatrimony.com, http://www.shaadi.com. A friend (living in Delaware) of mine found a girl from Romania through that website. Now they are a married and living in Delaware
Just give some time you will find a nice Indian guy.
Wish you a best of luck.
Iaku… converting to Islam is not mandatory for non-muslim women marrying muslim men. muslim men are permitted to marry ‘people of the book’. MDG is christian, so there is no reason she can not marry MIM if that is what they decide, and have an Islamic ceremony. I am catholic, my husband is Muslim. I did NOT convert and we were married by an Imam more than 9yrs ago.
Alice-can we talk sometime???
Jubeeee, i posted on your blog. Talk away
Hmmmm… interesting for a research. Didn’t know that a complication exists in marrying a Muslim. Non-Muslim women, to whom Muslim men can marry, are the women from Christian and Jewish religions who are residents of Islamic nations. India or the US are not Islamic nations by any chance.